From David Fetter’s page at http://fetter.org/optimization.html:

  1. The first rule of Optimization Club is, you do not Optimize.
  2. The second rule of Optimization Club is, you do not Optimize without measuring.
  3. If your app is running faster than the underlying transport protocol, the optimization is over.
  4. One factor at a time.
  5. No marketroids, no marketroid schedules.
  6. Testing will go on as long as it has to.
  7. If this is your first night at Optimization Club, you have to write a test case.

Of course it’s company policy never to imply ownership of a performance problem. Always use the indefinite article: “a performance problem”, never “your performance problem.”